The thing about serial killers is the second they are caught, charged and incarcerated, it’s always their work colleagues who are first to complain that “no-one could possibly have known that he or she was a mass murderer” - with a penchant for prancing about in human-skin slippers, meeting new people and a “making a nice stew” – all because, “they seemed… so normal”. And yet “seeming normal” is all part of a serial killer’s charm and armour, as they lay an intricate bait to lure their next victim in with a clever concoction of kindness, camaraderie and a strange kind of kinship, especially for a “work colleague”, which many would later describe (in court) as a friendship.
So, is the person sitting at the desk next to you a mass-murderer? And if they were, how would you know? Is it in the eyes? Is it their smile? Or is there just something deeply unsettling about the way they’re tucking into that bacon butty, looking at you, and licking their lips?
What follows are a series of infallible top tips to help you spot if your work colleague is a serial killer… and (hopefully) stop your skin being flayed into a nice pair of brogues. Ask yourself:
If they read this bit and laugh, they’re possibly a serial killer. If they suggest that this ”sounds like” another colleague, they’re probably a serial killer, and that “colleague” has very possible been fashioned into an amazing show. Bag and belt combo. Where-as if they remain expressionless, they are without doubt, Britain’s worst mass-murderer ever. Well, that, or just reeeaallly boring. Either way… RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Michael J Buchanan-Dunne is a writer, crime historian and tour-guide who runs Murder Mile Walks, a guided tour of Soho’s most notorious (and often forgotten) murder cases, featuring 18 murderers, 3 serial killers, across 21 locations, totalling 75 deaths, over just a one mile walk.
Michael J Buchanan-Dunne is a crime historian, writer and tour guide of Murder Mile Walks.