Urgh! It's HER again. The Mother-in-Law. The one you didn't marry, but for some unfathomable reason... you're stuck with... for life. She's as sweet as a ticked-off scorpion, as likeable as lollipop covered in dog-poo and as pleasant as a deadly dose of the plague. And even though she's not your mother (thank God), you still have to get her something for Mother's Day otherwise... (shudders)... it's not even worth thinking about. So treat her to TWO HOURS of MURDER on "London's best murder walk", featuring 18 MURDERS, 21 LOCATIONS, 75 CORPSES over a one mile walk, which is guaranteed to play merry hell with her warty feet, overlapping corns and varicose veins, as she slithers from murder to murder, all of which (if we're honest) she either committed, or has done much much worse. Or, if you'd just love to get rid of her for two hours? BOOK NOW! £500 extra... and I'll bump her off. We'll say it was an accident. "Honest m'lud, she tripped over her own saggy sour unsmiling face". (wink)
Interested? It's on Sunday 6th March (Mother's Day) @ 1pm, from Tottenham Court Road tube station, for only £15. Simply click on the link - http://www.murdermiletours.com/london-murder-walk---mother-in-laws-day-special---murder-mile-walks.html
Or if you’d prefer something for your own Mother - http://www.murdermiletours.com/london-murder-walk---the-perfect-mothers-day-treat---murder-mile-walks.html
It's almost Mother's Day. So... what's mummy going to get from you? A bunch of bedraggled posies as a last-minute gift from a garage forecourt? A box of Milk Tray (even though she's diabetic)? Or something with a heart on because - after all these years - you still have no idea what she's into? SHAME ON YOU! Bad! Bad! Bad! This wonderful, beautiful, sassy, sweet, if slightly annoying, but occasionally saintly woman made you. She physically gave birth to you, giving you all of her energy and love, having gone through hours - if not days - of blood, pain and agony, risking her own life, just to give you life. And you give her... flowers? Tut. Show her you care. Treat her to TWO HOURS of MURDER, on "London's best murder walk", featuring 18 MURDERS, 21 LOCATIONS, 75 CORPSES over a sedate one mile walk of Soho. It'll be like giving birth again... only cheaper, with less blood, and no-one's bottom will be smacked by an over-zealous doctor. Unless you want it... but that will cost extra.
Interested? Sunday 6th March @ 10am, Tottenham Court Road tube station, £15pp
Michael J Buchanan-Dunne is a crime historian, writer and tour guide of Murder Mile Walks.