Cannibalism - #13: Diseases & Hygeine

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TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE: Cannibalism (munching) “could you eat a whole human being? With the help of a doctor, a scientist and a chef, I set out to see if it’s possible. Cannibalism: part thirteen – diseases & hygiene”. (burp)

If you ate a human being, you’d expect them to be clean and disease-free, right?

2014, Pakistan, Farman & Arif Ali were convicted of desecrating the grave of a two-year-old child. Alerted by the rancid smell of rotting flesh emanating from their kitchen, with the severed head found next to a cooking pot, they confessed to digging up the decomposing body and making it into a curry. With no law against cannibalism, in 2019 they were sentenced to 12 years in prison having confessed to feasting on the corpses of more than 150 strangers, many of whom had been dead for days or weeks.

Even uneducated cannibals can tell good meat from bad as we all know the basics; a good steak should be red, firm and slightly moist. If it’s slimy, shiny or crusty, it’s off. If you prod a steak, the meat should bounce back, but if a pit remains, it’s passed its best. Farmed animals are heavily vetted, with the laws ensuring that the meat we eat is fit for our consumption. But humans are not, and we are dirty bastards.

According to a recent study, 45% of people wear the same underwear for two days or longer. 80% of Australians shower daily, compared to 60% of Americans, and 50% of Chinese people only bathe fortnightly. 97% of people don't wash their hands correctly. Each year, 1 in 8 people get a fungal infection, with up to 25% of people in the US & Britain alone infected with athlete's foot. Globally 1 in 25 people have at least one Sexually Transmitted Infection, and every year, 400 million people contract Scabbies. Hmm. Are you still hungry?

Although not a cannibal, serial-killer Dennis Nilsen bathed, shaved, and dressed his victim’s corpses in a fresh undies, as keen to kiss, fondle and engage in oral sex, he wanted these often-homeless men clean. But very few cannibals state they washed their victim’s skin before cooking and eating them.

Unlike in animal meat, a person’s hygiene can’t be determined by their smell, as our sweat is affected by our weight, diet, medication, and even the infections and diseases within us; Staphylococcus makes us smell like old cheese, Streptococcus like butter, E coli like rotten fruit, diabetics smell fruity, those with kidney disease smell of bleach, liver disease of rotten eggs and typhoid of baked bread, with different cancers having very distinct smells – such as musty with lung cancer, spicy for breast cancer and burnt for skin cancer, which is why dogs are able to detect cancers, Covid and even Parkinson’s.

But unless you’re an expert or a dog, how can you tell if a corpse is diseased or just wearing perfume? Our meat is permeated by the foods we eat, which is why some nationalities predominantly smell of vanilla, turmeric or basil, and although our own racists love to bang on about how “all Indians smell of curry”, according to an Asian friend of mine, I am reliably informed that all British people smell of milk.

Rigorous screening ensures that diseased animals don’t make it into our food chain, but with just 4.3% of all people globally suffering no health problems - that’s just 1 in every 20 - of the 17 men Jeffrey Dahmer claimed to have eaten, it’s likely that only one of them (at best) was disease or infection free. And given that 9.4% of the world population has acne, there’s a good chance that having bragged that when he tucked into a thigh or a bicep that it tasted like ‘filet mignon’, that he also bit into a zit. Tasty.

But surely, when a person dies, their infection or disease dies too, right? Not always.

Researchers proved that cancer not only survives the death of its host, but also thrives, with many cells increasing significantly during the first 24 hours of decomposition. But with cancer unable to live inside a different host, transmission by blood is highly unlikely and contracting the disease by eating would be impossible, as the stomach acids would digest it. As for HIV, that dies within 24 hours of the host’s death, and is dead just 6 minutes after leaving the corpse.

But many diseases can be transmitted between the living and the dead which the average cannibal may not be aware of. In the guidelines for ‘The Infectious Hazard of Dead Bodies’ as distributed by the World Health Organisation; “tuberculosis-infected cadavers present a real danger when power saws are used, and Hepatitis B and C as skin penetration can occur via broken bones and sharp instruments” - wise words for any would-be cannibal - as well as “gastrointestinal infections being transmitted from faeces leaked from cadavers or soiled clothes”. So with strangulation being the preferred method of killing for many cannibals, it’s likely that several of the victims Dahmer ate may have soiled themselves.

Like the animal meat we eat, if a cannibal doesn’t prepare it properly, they’re likely to get sick, and given most humans are riddled with bacteria, it’s unlikely they’d know what bits are infection-free unless they’re a doctor. Cannibalism really is a game of chance… unless they decide to eat someone they know.

In June 2016, a Reddit user known only as IncrediblyShinyShart was injured in a motorbike accident. Legally being given permission by the surgeon to keep his amputated foot and lower leg, three weeks later, he invited 10 friends to dinner and – with their consent – he fed them a meal of fajita tacos made from his flesh. Marinated and sauteed with onions, peppers and lime juice, it was said to be “beefy”, and “the muscle was tough and chewy. It tasted good, but one friend had to spit me into a napkin”.

And that’s what’s wrong with the killing of a stranger for cannibalism, you don’t know where they’ve been, but with this guy serving a piece of himself to his best friends, you know he’d have made sure that his limb was washed, trimmed and infection free, as imagine the shame if anyone had got sick?

Join me tomorrow to examine the bloodiest part of the human body – the heart.