Cannibalism - #5: Bones

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TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE: Cannibalism (munching) “could you eat a whole human being? (more munching) With the help of a doctor, a scientist and a chef, I set out to see if it’s possible. Cannibalism: part five – bones”. (burp)

For most serial killers, the human skeleton is either something to defile or to turn into a souvenir, but for the most unimaginative who only eat the finest cuts of meat, they could be missing a real treat.

Although a cannibal, Jeffrey Dahmer wasted a huge amount of time rinsing the bones, stripping the protein-rich meat, soaking them in bleach and painting these trophies like a twisted toddler at a sadistic playgroup. Every other bone, he smashed with a hammer and disposed of. But never ate them.

But survival experts know how nutritious and tasty bones can be. In 1820, whaling-ship The Essex was sunk by a sperm whale in the Pacific. Drifting for 90 days, of the 17-man crew, only 5 survived, having placed their dead compatriot’s leg bones to their lips and sucking out the life-giving marrowbone.

Admit it, bones, they’re not exactly a staple of our everyday diet, or the choicest part we’d hunger for.

Being 14% of our body mass, and made of protein, collagen, calcium and phosphorus, a skeleton gives our body its shape, a framework for the muscle structure, and it protects our most delicate of organs. Minerals make the bones strong, collagen gives it flexibility, and every atom is replaced every 10 years.

Its hard outer shell is called the periosteum, underneath are vessels for the blood and the lymphatics which carry its nourishment; and the muscles, ligaments and tendons attach to the periosteum. Of the 206 bones in the human skeleton, 126 are appendicular bones (such as arms, legs and hips), 80 are axial bones (the skull, vertebrae and ribs), and the only exposed part of the skeleton is the teeth.

Many anthropologists believe that during the palaeolithic era, tool-making hominids ate bone marrow as it’s a rich source of protein comprising fats, acids, as well as red and white blood cells and platelets.

Cooked properly – at no lower than 140 degrees Fahrenheit for 8 to 10 hours, depending on its weight and density – “it has a slightly sweet, savory full-bodied flavor”. Served in high-end restaurants, a cow femur (the thigh) is boiled, roasted, sliced and the jelly-like marrow is served on toast with sea salt.

We have no qualms about consuming animal bones, and yet, with the world population exploding and 167,000 people dying each day, its only fear, the law but (mostly) religion which stops us consuming a valuable and untapped source of 2 million kilos of highly nourishing human bone marrow every day.

Based on the study of palaeolithic cannibals, our average UK male has 11.7 kilos or 25.7lbs of bone, the equivalent of two bowling balls, two gallons of paint, or four house bricks – which sounds delicious - but providing 28,700 calories, Steve’s juicy marrowbone could keep a cannibal alive for 11 ½ days.

In 1991, Omaima Aree Nelson murdered, castrated, skinned and cannibalized her abusive husband, Bill. Having cooked his head, ate his flesh, and deep fried his hands in boiling oil, it was said she flayed his torso and roasted his ribs which she served with a barbecue sauce - only to later deny this. Whether this was true, a lie, or an alibi for an insanity plea is unknown, but with the intercostal muscles on a human’s ribs being relatively thin compared to pigs and cows, it’s unlikely she enjoyed much meat.

Bones are a tasty nutritious treat, but it comes with several dangers a cannibal may not be aware of.

Any bone needs to be crushed as the oesophagus can’t swallow anything larger than an inch, the width of a 2p coin. As bones tend to shatter, a punctured stomach wall can lead to peritonitis and sepsis. Even a bone of that size would take a week to pass through your intestinal tract, longer than fat. And any bone cooked lower than 145°F has a higher risk of dangerous bacteria like E. coli and Salmonella.

And – more importantly – with roughly a kilo of calcium in the human skeleton (necessary to build and maintain our bones), given that exceeding a daily intake of 2 ½ grams of calcium a day could result in vomiting, kidney failure, confusion and (ironically) brittle bones, it would take 400 days to safely eat Steve’s entire skeleton.

So, serial killers, don’t bin, abuse or decorate the bones, simply scoop out the marrowbone and have a posh meal, then ground up the outer shell for fertiliser as we do with most animal bones. Or, as they did during the Paris famine of 1590, which resulted in almost 50,000 deaths, with the starving populus lacking basic foods like bread – having eaten every horse, cat and dog in the city - they robbed the graves of the recently deceased, stripped their meat, sucked out the marrow, and ground down their empty bones for flour.

The bread it made was said to be “vile” and “abominable”, but this act of cannibalism was so shocking, it ended the Paris siege. But could you eat a loaf made of your much loved auntie? If so, what else would you be willing to eat?

Join me tomorrow to examine the juiciest part of the human body – the fat.