How to Perfect a Perfect Murder Pose

As murder poses go, these ladies nailed it

One of the highlights of running Murder Mile Walks - apart from spending two fun-packed hours with a wealth of really lovely people, spilling fascinating true stories about the seedy side of Soho, and watching their mouths go agog as I unravel the truly gory details of such ghastly and grisly crimes - is taking the souvenir photo of each happy band of Murder Milers, outside of The Golden Lion pub (Dennis Nilsen's regular haunt).

But instead of simply smiling, hugging and generally looking awkward, I always liven the photo up and ask everyone to show me their best "murder pose". The best examples of which you'll see in the slideshow which takes pride of place on the front page of my website. So what makes a great "murder pose"? Imagination. Here's a few examples of my favourites, with a the title of "what I think they're supposed to be" underneath: 

In case you missed them, they were:

• #1 Death by Invisible Baguette (at least, I hope that's what it is)
• #2 Death by Being Squashed Between Two Lovely Ladies (sigh, what a way to go)
• #3 Death by Discrete Crotch Grab (Michael Jackson would be proud, "shamone")
• #4 Death By Argument Over Shoes (because that's what ladies do)
• #5 Death by Disco Dancing (he had rhythm, right up to the end)
• #6 Death by Group Bum Sex (that's John in the middle of that shot, he wasn't even invited on the tour, but someone shouted "bum sex" and he was in - literally)
• #7 Death by Hollyoaks Omnibus (the very worst death of all... ever)
• #8 Death by Polite Fist Shaking (as threatening as a Liberal Democrat can get)
• #9 Death by Promising to Shave your Girlfriend's Head with a Razor (or even thinking it is enough to warrant a death sentence)
• #10 Death by Double Crotch Grab (with carrier bag? Kinky. Must be an MP)
• #11 Death by Romantic Tango (by blisters?)
• #12 Death by Extremely Sour Sweet (or a vegan sausage?)
• #13 Death by Sore Throats and No Money to Buy Strepsils
• #14 Death by REALLY Casual Stabbing ("meh, you're dead, now does anyone know where I can buy some good Falafal around here?")
• #15 Death by Zombie Impression "Braaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnsss" or "Brian's" if you're dyslexic 
• #16 Death by Realisation That You've Left The Cooker On "oh bum!" 

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If you haven't got no plans at the weekend? And you fancy meeting new people, having a laugh, learning a lot about the seedy side of Soho, and you've got a "killer" Murder Pose you want to try out? Don't just sit in front of the mirror, trying it out, giggling to yourself. Book now. 

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Michael J Buchanan-Dunne is a writer, crime historian and tour-guide who runs Murder Mile Walks, a guided tour of Soho’s most notorious murder cases, hailed as “one of the top ten quirky & unusual things to do in London” and featuring 18 murderers, 3 serial killers, across 21 locations, totalling 75 deaths, over just a one mile walk.