And the award for the "Most Tenuous Link to Shamelessly Advertise a Murder Walk Ever" goes to (drum roll, eeekkk, it's exciting) "Murder Mile Walks (London) - Burns Night Special".
Scottish detective Taggart had the catchphrase "there's been a murduh", right? Haggis looks a lot like a murder scene, and - if we're honest - its ingredients are rather grisly too, so what better way is there of spending Burns Night than on Murder Mile Walk, a guided walk of Soho's most infamous murders? Murder Mile Walks (London), rated FIVE STAR on TripAdvisor and hailed as "Soho's best murder walk", covering 18 murderers, at 21 locations, totalling 75 deaths, over barely a mile, including the Scottish serial killer and infamous Soho inhabitant Dennis Nilsen.
So why not join us for Burns Night? Treat yourself to a great grisly evening of murder, mirth and mayhem, help solve an 80 year old unsolved murder, meet some new friends, and top it all off by having a wee nip of whiskey in a serial killer's favourite pub?
Murder Mile walking tours - "less walking, more murders"
Tickets available via www.murdermiletours.com or www.murderwalkslondon.com
Yes, it's cheesy, but after a "wee nip" of whiskey, will you care? Nah. I won't. I plan to get sozzled, big style, possibly wearing a kilt, a jimmy-hat, whilst juggling The Krankies, and head-butting The Bay City Rollers, before deep-frying them all in an odd mix of lard, tattie scones and peanut M&M's, all while... erm... (insert something about Rabbie Burns here, might need to research him first)*... stuff.
See you all soon. Och aye the noo.
* Joke: I'm half-Scottish and my family comes from Dumfries so I know FAR TOO MUCH about Rabbie Burns. And being Scottish, this blog isn't offensive at all.
Michael J Buchanan-Dunne is a crime historian, writer, podcaster and tour guide of Murder Mile Walks, hailed as one of the best "quirky curious and unusual things to do in London".