Murder Mile Walks - WHAT'S ON IN SOHO THIS WEEKEND?
"...one of the best quirky, curious & unusual things to do in London"
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TOP TEN BEST THINGS TO DO IN SOHO... THIS WEEKEND Stuck in Soho? Wondering what's on? Tapping your toes for fiendishly fun things to do? Here's a list the "top ten things to do in Soho". #1 - Best West End Show: Love theatre? But hate the dross, drivel and dirge which spews onto Shaftsbury Avenue consisting mostly of Shakespeare's old shite, Andrew Lloyd Webber's effluent and a slew of hastily cobbled together musicals by once famous, now penniless pop stars, cashing in on their forgotten back catalogue? Try "Murder Mile Walks". A two hour live performance featuring a bald man recanting two hours of Soho's grisliest murders - verbatim, whilst dodging dog poo and drunk's vomit. "FIVE STARS" (TripAdvisor) |
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#2 - Best Value Event in Soho:
Soho is ridiculously expensive. According to a survey by Blah-Blah-Blah* Magazine "the average price of a thimble-sized cup of espresso in Soho is eighty-six million pounds", "food is only for billionaires" and "you're charged per lungful of air". I know! What a rip-off. Thankfully, those lovely people at Murder Mile Walks only charge a few measly pounds for a two hour guided walk of Soho's most infamous murders. You can even bring your own pop and sandwiches, if you like? Result. *an entirely fictitious magazine |
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#3 - Best Place to Drink in Soho:
Based on the sights seen on most Saturday nights, the most popular place in Soho seems to be face down in 'The Gutter', with its revolutionary street-side back-alley bar, unusual dress-code (shirt off, skirt up and a broken heel) and 24hr taxi service (courtesy of Her Majesty's Constabulary). But if Chlamydia and a criminal record isn't your thing? Try Murder Mile Walks, with ever tour ending in a nice pub, having a pint, with new found friends. And best of all, vomiting is optional. #4 - Best Fitness Activity in Soho: Okay, the second best fitness activity in Soho. The first being, you know, what Soho is famous for - "being mugged". But if a near-death stabbing with a sky-high junkie holding a crudely sharpened sex-aide (well, this is Soho), isn't your thing? Try Murder Mile Walks. A lightly-paced two hour walk of Soho's blood-soaked streets, full of true stories which will raise your heart-rate, suspense to get your pulse racing, and - better still - over this one mile walk, you'll burn off 300 calories, which is enough for a pint/wine. |
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#5 - Best Sexy Hunks in Soho:
Hmm, I might be stretching it a bit here. But if your idea of a "hunk" is a bald man, with a bad beard, a pot belly and man-boobs, then you are in for a treat, as that's exactly what Michael (Murder Mile's tour guide) looks like. And, if you pay him enough money, he'll even wear a sexy leopard-skin thong. It's extra to make him cover up. #6 - Best Comedy Show in Soho: I'm beginning to wish this had been a list of five, I'd be done by now, and I'm desperate for a pee. Basically, what I'm saying is, "come on a Murder Mile Walk", it's a right giggle... if you've got a sick sense of humour... or are just weird. #7 - Best Non-Specific Thing (as Things Go) of Things To Do in Soho: Erm... Murder Mile Walks? I think that says it all really. |
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#8 - Best Must-Do Thing To Do When Looking in What's On In Soho for a Thing To Do:
Okay, I'm just filling space now, but... gnrrr... this pee is... oooh, close.
#9 - Best Thing in Soho To Do, That You Must Do, if You've Got Nothing To Do, and the What's On in the What's On in Soho isn't What You Want To Do, so "Murder Mile" Seems "The Best Thing To Do in Soho"... for a bit:
Murder Mile Walks. Nuff said really.
#10 - The Best Murder / History Walk in Soho: (Ah, now, this one I can do)
Murder Mile Walks (London), hailed as "London's best murder walk", "terrific", "dark, witty and well-researched" as well as "a great grisly morning of murder, mirth and mischief", packs in a whopping 18 MURDERERS, across 21 LOCATIONS totalling 75 DEATHS in just two hours, over barely a mile, Murder Mile Walks features cases such as "Britain's most notorious serial killer" Dennis Nilsen, Soho's WW2 slasher The Blackout Ripper, maniac William Crees, the strange defence of Peter Keim, Britain's notoriously competent hangman William Calcraft, the Denmark Street Fire, as well as unravelling the mystery of The Soho Strangler, and the real truth about Jack the Ripper... to name but a few.
Disclaimer: This article was paid for by Murder Mile Walks (in case you hadn't noticed)
Go back to the Main Page.... or read about The Job Centre Mass Murderer